


we need to talk

by banelands



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, SPOILERS AHEAD, post ep48
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 04:03:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17460275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/banelands/pseuds/banelands
Summary: We need to talk.Yeah, they really needed to fucking talk. Except, with Nott in shock and belligerently drunk and Caleb near catatonic, Beau was about to have a hell of a time dragging their group to solid ground, something to work from. And, it had seemingly fallen to Beau and Beau alone to get the group on the same page, because she was the only one left of their little fucked up triad without skin in the game.





	we need to talk

_We need to talk_.

            Yeah, they really needed to fucking talk. Except, with Nott in shock and belligerently drunk and Caleb near catatonic, Beau was about to have a hell of a time dragging their group to solid ground, something to work from. And, it had seemingly fallen to Beau and Beau alone to get the group on the same page, because she was the only one left of their little fucked up triad without skin in the game. She’d seen the others’ confused looks when Nott had gone at Caleb and, _fuck_ , if she’d been expecting Nott to have a family. A son.

            After leaving Edith’s house and plodding to the nearest inn that hadn’t been turned to ash, they tied up the horses and filed in one by one under an uncomfortable silence.

The interior of the inn was empty, thankfully. Nott didn’t even bother to stop and pay for a room, she just walked past the innkeeper and up the stairs, flask on her lips. Fjord rushed up and asked for…four rooms with a question in his voice. Nobody was in Felderwin at the moment unless they had to be, so the innkeeper gladly turned over the rooms.

            Once the silver was on the bar, Beau watched Fjord order a drink, walk to the farthest corner of the room, and take a single sip before putting his head in his hands. Jester’s hand ghosted on the nape of Beau’s neck as she went over to join him, throwing a Beau a loaded, ‘you’re going to tell me everything’ sort of look as she passed. Caduceus and Yasha started guiding a listless Caleb towards the stairs and, for a moment, Beau really just wanted to buy a whole bottle of the inn’s shittiest booze and fall back into the comfort of not giving a shit.

            But that really wasn’t an option anymore, was it?

            “Hey, Duce, Yasha,” Beau called, stepping quickly after them. “I got it.”

            Yasha let go without argument, but Caduceus studied Beau for a long moment. “Are you sure?” he asked.

            “Gimme the wizard.”

            Without another word, Caduceus released Caleb into Beau’s hands. He and Yasha pulled away to join Jester and Fjord, and Beau began the ascent upstairs with Caleb silent and stiff under her palm.

            Only one of the rooms had its doors closed, so Beau had her pick of beds. She chose the one furthest way from the entrance, at the back corner of the inn, and hustled Caleb into it. She all but shoved him onto the bed and then yanked the curtains on the single, dinghy window closed.

            Once she was done, Beau took a good look at Caleb. His shoulders were hunched and his skin was pale. He stunk of dirt and vomit and hadn’t spoken a word since leaving Edith’s hovel. The man looked like he’d crawled out of his own grave.

            “You gonna say anything?”

            Caleb’s fingers tightened in the folds on his cloak, though his face remained still as stone. Slowly, he looked up at Beau between the ash-covered strands of his hair.

            “There is nothing to say.”

            Beau snorted. “Nothing? Uh, no, I think there’s a lot to fucking say.”

            The sound of something shattering in the room down the hall made both of them jump. Beau held up a finger to Caleb and poked her head outside the door, but all was quiet in the hallway. Beau had an urge to go check on Nott, but she knew that sometimes it was better to be alone and break shit than have people breathing down your neck. Plus, she wasn’t done with the man on the bed.

            Beau closed the door. “Alright,” she sighed. “So, this is bad.”

            “I think this is worse than bad, Beauregard,” Caleb’s chuckle came out strained and hysteric. “This is _exactly_ what I was afraid of.”

            “This is not—”

            “Yes, it is,” Caleb’s knuckles were turning white. “Tr…. _He_ was mentioned by _name_ in those papers. Archmages are crawling all over this town. Nott’s…Nott’s loved ones are at risk from the very people I have been hiding from.”

            “We can handle this—”

            “Beauregard!” Caleb’s voice went from flat to nearly screaming in a second. “We are _ants_ in comparison to these people. They will take great joy in killing us painfully and slowly. You have no idea what we have _blundered_ in to.”

            Caleb spat ‘blundered’ at her like a curse, transporting them both back into their argument from earlier in the week. Beau bit down on the heated response waiting to leap from her chest. She needed to cut to chase this time.

            “Do you think Nott’s…whatever being taken is your fault, Caleb?”

            “It doesn’t matter what I think,” Caleb said. His eyes, normally so intelligent and bright, were lifeless. He might as well have been a husk. Beau couldn’t even tell if he was breathing. “Nott said it herself. They are my people.”

            “Bullshit.”

            “Beau—”

            “No, fuck that!” Beau snapped. Fear and anger were mingling in her bloodstream as she stepped into his space. “You don’t get to do this right now. I don’t care if you don’t give a shit about the rest of us, but Nott is your best friend! You two are a package deal, remember?” Beau grabbed Caleb’s collar with one hand and pointed to the door with her other. “Our friend is scared out of her mind right now and she said some things we both know she didn’t mean. Yeah, she might have been keeping some stuff from us, but you and I sure as _fuck_ can’t say anything about that.”

            Caleb stared back at her. The tension in his body was almost vibrating under Beau’s hand. He started shaking his head, lips curled in against his teeth.

            “Nott needs our help,” Beau said. “That means that we are going to have to tell the others the truth.”

            Caleb’s eyes fluttered closed, the image of a man sentenced to death row. He sagged in her grip and Beau had to tamp down the ache in her throat at the thought of forcing him to relive his past in the eyes of their friends. It had to happen, though. For the good of the group, Caleb was going to have to own up to his sins.

            “Look, I can tell them. If you want,” Beau offered. She knew he was thinking about Jester, whose mother loved her more than anything in the world, and Fjord, who’d never even had a family to lose. Yasha and Caduceus were just additional nails in the coffin, pushing Caleb deeper and deeper underwater.

            Caleb didn’t answer, so Beau released his coat. He sat on the bed with his hands clasped, searching Beau like she had the answers to this fucked up situation.

            All Beau wanted to do was punch the shit out of something—just wail on someone until her knuckles bled if it meant that her friends would be spared the pain that was staring them down at the end of this path. A year ago, Beau could never have imagined that she’d not just be caught in the middle of a war, but holding what felt like a thousand threads, each of which could make everything to crumble around her at the lightest tug. She’d barely kept it together with Yussa—without Caduceus she would have been thrown from the tower five seconds in to the conversation. Now a week later, they were tumbling towards chaos and Beau barely had a handle on the situation.

            “Alright, Caleb,” she said. “You can stay up here and have your breakdown. I won’t fault you for that, because if I were in your shoes, I’d been doing the same. But, this isn’t about just you anymore. By morning, one of us is going to tell the others what we’re up against.”

            Caleb’s only response was to swallow thickly and dig his fingers into his hair. His shoulders started to curl inward and his knees dragged towards his chest. Part of Beau wanted to stay and help him, but the rest of her knew that Caleb didn’t need her shitty attempts at comfort. This was something he was going to have to work through on his own.

            Beau walked over to the door, trying to look more confident than she sounded. As her hand curled around the handle, she stopped and looked back at Caleb.

            “I’m going to leave you up here. I know you can leave this inn without any of us noticing,” Beau flexed her fingers around the door handle. “That’s your choice. Just know that now, more than ever, Nott needs you. Fuck all the rest of us if it makes you feel better, but _Nott_ needs _you_. What happened here wasn’t your fault, but we are going to need your help if we’re gonna make it right.”

            “We’ll die.”

            Caleb caught her eye with one final, broken stare.

            “Shit happens.”

            Beau threw the door open and walked out, sucking in a shaky breath. She let the door slam shut behind her, leaving Caleb to his devices. One more deep breath in, and then she turned towards the stairs.

_Gods, we need to talk._


End file.
